Top Ten Things With Which I Struggle

1. Not choking on carrots. Am I alone in this? Or is the size and consistency of a chewed carrot exactly right for being inadvertently sucked into your lungs, then coughed back up into your nostril holes at the back of your throat? I love carrots, but I have to concentrate very hard every time I eat one, otherwise I will be blowing it out my nose for the next three weeks.

2. Not getting completely grossed out by the things kids do. The other day I was talking with a kiddo, when, as if in slow motion, he took his gum out of his mouth and stuck it behind his ear. I thought this was an urban legend, but no. It's real, and it's happening in our schools.

3. Doing work.

4. Following through when I tell my dogs they cannot jump up on the bed at 7:30 a.m. on a Saturday. Here's how that usually plays out:

Me: "Lily, no. You cannot come up. Go to your own bed."
Lily: Presses her adorable face on the edge of the bed, and beseeches me with her beautiful blue eyes.
Me: "Okay, let's cuddle." Followed shortly after by, "Ow! Stop stepping on my bones! Okay, lie down...seriously, lie down or get out of my life."

5. Ending a sentence with a preposition. When I do, it kind of feels like cussing in public.

6. That moment right after you turn off the shower and the warm relaxing part is over, but you still have all of the toweling, lotioning, hair-drying, make-upping, and dressing ahead of you. That depresses me every time.

7. The moment when I have to finally turn off my book on tape because I have made it to school, and I have been just sitting in the parking lot for 7 1/2 minutes, and anyone walking by will think I am crazy as I stare straight ahead. Of course I'm not crazy, I am listening to the ending of "It" by Stephen King, and it is intense.

8. Counting all the way to 10.

Of course, these are not "real" struggles (except for the carrots, that's real).  I wrote these down because we all suffer in some way, and I hope those who are suffering a lot, or a little, will find some comfort in a little joke here and there. A small smile, a soft chuckle, or even a lightening in the chest area. If any of those things happen as a result of reading my blog, double yay.

The Funny Thing

A funny thing happens when I write, more on that later.

I have a friend that told me once that she is not one that has a love/hate relationship with running. She says that they are definitely monogamous. I have blogged about running before, and I can safely say that we are not monogamous, but we do hang out on a fairly regular basis, and we get along well enough to continue doing so. Still, my friend got me thinking about the relationships we build with ourselves through our hobbies, interests, or even passions. Portions of the people we make ourselves into are shaped, quite simply, by the things we do, and the thoughts, beliefs, and experiences that result from those things. My mom likes to say that I wake up in a different world every day. I think this is partially true, there are so many things that I want to learn and do. I find myself scouring Google for new interests all the time--my most recent obsession? Hair. Messy up-dos to be exact. Some of the biggies that started out with a little google search? Lampwork glass of course; check out my Etsy Shop to get an idea of where that took me. Some things I pursue whole-heartedly. Other things, I do a little research, shrug my shoulders and say, "Eh." Some are small crinkles in the plain of my existence, some are medium, and some, like the glass, are pretty good-sized lumps. However, there is something bigger floating just beneath this plain, a dark shape moving slowly and making ripples here and there, but never completely breaking the surface. My waters are never quite still.

This circles me back to my first point. A funny thing happens when I write. All those other things, glass, running, messy up-dos, I love them all in a comparatively small way. They make me, in part, who I am. But are we monogamous? Nah. Writing, however, that is my Big Love. That is the behemoth that serves as a backdrop to everything else. It is so huge that it is often easy to ignore...kind of like gravity. A very wise person once asked me, 'How can you make writing a part of your reality?' Good question. I need to not only poise this question to myself regularly, but I need to also find an answer, and to accept that the answer may be different each day. Writing sets the creaky, unused parts of my mind to turning. When I write, I think more, I speak more, and I see more. That dark shape moving slowly and silently beneath me starts to poke its nose over the surface, and that is frightening. There is nothing to protect it up here. It is big, sure, but it is vulnerable. So, I not only need to ask myself how to make writing a part of my reality, I also need to figure out how to be brave enough to do so.

Books, Pie, and Michael Phelps

Is there anything better than a refreshing swim? As it turns out, yes. There are lots of things that are better. For instance, pie. Pie is better. Chocolate pie, not...cherry, or blueberry, or some other nonsense like that. But still, swimming is pretty nice. I've been watching the Olympics, and I felt inspired to get in the pool. Michael Phelps I am not, but who was I really kidding? I've been having a little difficulty getting back on the horse after the half marathon, but that's getting better. Swimming helps! Pie does not.

Speaking of getting back on the horse, I have also been getting back into Etsy, and listing some items left over from the Spearfish show. Here are some pictures of my booth.

It turned out pretty well, and we had a nice time. Now, I am so excited to have lots of listings for my Etsy shop, it's just a matter of getting everything photographed and descriptions typed up. With school starting up soon, I better get into gear. Keep watching the shop; my goal is to list at least one new thing each day from now until the Nothing rolls through.

Summer went too fast. I am just now getting into the groove of doing nothing more than reading, running, and eating each day. A series of events I sometimes puncuate with a nap. I just finished Fifty Shades of Grey. I am currently reading Jane Eyre in hopes of regaining the brain cells I lost due to the rediculousness of the former. Ugh. I am not sure if rediculousness is an actual word, but, as evidenced by Fifty, quality writing is of no consequence. So, me not try to write pretty no more 'cause it don't matter. However, I read it through to the end...*shrug*

Sum, Sum, Summertime!

Wow...Just, wow. I have been loving my summer so much that I have not written a single blog post in...I don't know. A long time. Here is a little bit of what's been happening:

Fabulous, lovely, awesome, breathtaking trip to Massachusetts and Maine.

With a little of this:

A LOT of that:

Some of this (body surfing, Yo!)

Probably waaaay too much of this:

A touch of that:





I mean seriously, we get it, Maine. You're beautiful. Now can we move on?

No? Okay.



All in all, a great trip. Awesome places, and some much needed time with loved ones.

Now we are home. Back with the dogs, and back to work (on jewelry that is--and making some pretty good progress, thank you very much). But first, there is the race.

The Lander Half Marathon, which is, gulp, tomorrow! I have been training for this for a while now, and it is finally here! I have some major butterflies, but I think I'm ready. Wish me luck! After that, the next big thing will the the show in Spearfish. And after that...I think I'm going to take a nap.



The Things We Do...

Sometimes I create victories for myself. It helps put a spring in my step, and lets me know that I am the master of something, even if it is not a grand thing.

For example, when I go to the grocery store, I race with the checker. You know the little membership cards you get? I try to wrestle mine out of my wallet, and swipe it through the machine before the checker gets a chance to say,

"Do you have your Smith's card today?"

This is not easy, because, as noted in my previous post, my life gets kind of messy, and so does my wallet. I'm working on it. Anyway, sometimes I win, sometimes the checker wins, but it is always fun. Always.

Anytime I am able to make a cursive "c" that doesn't look like a "v," I reward myself with a candy bar. A student actually pointed out that my c's look like v's. I sent him to the office.

When I make my glass beads (I make jewelry, remember?), and they don't all look like potatoes, I give myself potato chips. The down side of this is, if my beads do end up like potatoes, I have to eat a raw potato. They're not great.

If I walk around all day in my new 4 inch wedges without falling off of them and breaking my ankle, I get a doughnut. If I do fall off of them...well, I probably have a broken ankle, and that is punishment enough.

If I write a post on my jewelry blog that actually has something to do with my jewelry, I get a whole cake! Clearly, that hasn't happened in awhile. I promise the next post will be about my progress toward the Spearfish Show, with pictures of my latest projects and all. Really.

If I write a post in which I address my readers as if I actually had readers...I don't actually get anything except the realization that I am being delusional. Please follow my blog (click the "join this site" button on the right!). I would be so happy if you did, and the reward I give myself for getting more readers would be absolutely bananas!

On a serious note (in case you couldn't tell that this post is absolutely and totally silly), it is very important to celebrate our accomplishments, big and small, real and imagined. We already have plenty of ways to break ourselves down, and it can be so easy to ignore our victories. Yes, a lot of them are small (i.e. successfully avoiding the aggressively friendly stranger at the grocery store--more scary than cuddly), but they are victories nonetheless. I want to hear about yours! Leave them in the comments section!

P.S. I do not recommend that you indulge in chocolate and/or processed sugar every time you write your cursive letters correctly. Neither do I actually condone eating a doughnut every time you walk without falling down. Just to be clear. However, if your lampwork beads don't look like potatoes, by all means, have a chip.

Keeping It Together Can Be Hard

Do you ever feel like you are losing you mind? If yes, does this feeling ever last for a month or more? Well, (I say with a seasoned chuckle) this happens to me every other month and lasts for about three months. That's right, do the math...I feel like a crazy person approximately all of the time. So, assuming that I'm not alone in this (because if I am alone I don't think I can take it--so please just humor me), I decided to write some helpful hints for dealing with stressful situations. Ready? Here we go.

1. Do you have too many books cluttering your house? Well, simply gather the ones you don't want anymore, stuff them in a bag, and leave by them the front door for three weeks, telling yourself each time you trip over them that you will take them to the used book store as soon as you have a moment to breathe. If you're lucky, your dogs will help you out, like this:

Magadoo, sitting happily atop her pile of ruin.

Notice the shredded pages all around her? Yes, the darling took it upon herself to eat some of those pesky books--that's two fewer books I need to worry about schlepping to the store! Score! Look closely at her face. Here is what she is communicating with that sweet little smirk:

Maggie: "Hey, Amy. Remember that time this morning when you had to get to work early, and you didn't take me for a walk? Yeah? Ringing any bells? Well, I ate your books. That's right. Now go get the leash."

And that, my friends, is how you deal with excess clutter. Situation handled.

2. Is one of your best friends having surgery? Okay, I have the perfect solution. Forget about it! Just completely let it slip your mind, then call her the day after for a nice little chat. When she sounds groggy, and not quite herself, you can tease her for drinking at 10:00 in the morning. Then, when she says, "Oh no, it's just the pain killers for my surgery," you can sit silently for a full 30 seconds, really soaking in the guilt until it feels like it will crush your bones. Once you are saturated in your shame, beg for forgiveness, then ply her with gifts. You're welcome.

3. Do you keep getting letters from your insurance company requesting proof that you repaired a hole in the ground next to your house, but you can't really provide proof other than to say "I took dirt from another part of the yard, and put it in the hole until it was nice and filled,"? Don't even sweat it. Just put the letter on top of your bill box with all the other important documents that you don't know how to address, and ignore it. What are they gonna do? Cancel your home owners insurance? (Laughing)I don't think so...oh, wait...

4. Finally, do you feel like you have just way too many things to do in any given day? No problem! Just make a list, like this:

See how simple that is? All you have to do is follow the list, and mark off the items as you complete them! Genius!

Ahh, helpful hints are great! You know what's even more helpful? Knowing that it's okay to take the occasional trip to Crazy Town, as long as you come back. Things get so chaotic, but it helps me to remember that the world will keep right on going, and so will I. Treat your day like a rousing game of Duck Hunt on Nintendo. Know that you'll get a few, but some will fly away and then a dog will come out of the bushes and laugh at you. It's okay. Celebrate the hits, and save the misses for tomorrow. I wish everyone knew how much wisdom there is to be had in the original Duck Hunt.

Up Wake

I stepped into a Barnes and Noble a couple of weeks back. This is a big deal when you live in the boonies--doesn't happen often. Of course, I love our little used bookstore on Main Street like it was my own--but I get dazzled by the bright lights of Barnes, the stacks and stacks of spanking new books, and...oh my, an escalator! That's not one, but two floors of books! Hazahh! I went into a bit of a frenzy, and decided that I absolutley had to have some new books if I was to continue breathing. Yes, I have a Kindle--but I could never give up regular books. Just not happenin', mmkay?

All that being said, I am quite pleased, so far, with one of the books I got. It is So Much For That, by Lionel Shriver. I am not completely done with it--I'm actually about 1/3 of the way through, so this is not an actual review of the book, just my ponderings. The thing I love about the book is the characters. When you flip to the first page, it's like they are all there, hands outstretched, saying "Come on in. Walk around in my life for a bit. It's great to have you here." In return for me taking them up on the offer, they give me 100% honesty, warts and all. It also helps that one of the main characters is a metalsmith, and seriously flawed--I love that. I also get a chuckle because one the ideas that a particular character continuously complains about is capitalism--I find this funny because it was my reaction to the big, glitzy corporate store that got me to buy the book...it doesn't take much to make me laugh, I guess.

The book is big, and tasty, and delicious and I love sinking my teeth into it every night. Books bring me so much joy. I know I am not the first person to think or say these things, but why should that stop me? The things that wake us up and spark our minds should be shared, so there you go. Have a happy day!